Shelf Life

Gimme Cl'mores

Some shows are so ridiculous in their fanservice that they're impossible to hate. How can I begrudge the girls from Ikki Tousen their constant states of half-dress when they barely seem concerned? For reference, we can even take a look at the front or back DVD cover, or the menu screens, which are all full of girls who are downright comfortable and happy modeling their shredded clothes. Hey, you go girls. Don't let the bad guys keep you down. You rock that torn clothing like it's going out of style.

Needless to say, there's plenty of fanservice in this series. But to be fair, that's what Ikki Tousen is known for. See, at the core of it all, it's actually a fighting show. An 1800 year old war is still being fought, only now it's between seven high schools. The only people who are allowed to participate are students who are actually reincarnated forms of the original fighters. Creatively, these folks are called Fighters. Identified by an amulet in their possession, they have all sorts of martial arts prowess. They're so good that a mere punch from a Fighter can blast his or her opponent's clothes into little bits. As is shown several times per episode, this is a very common occurrence. Our lead heroine, a dumb but spunky girl named Hakufu, pretty much wears tatters the whole show. Curiously, it's mostly the women whose clothes get blasted off. Even more curiously, it's mostly the large-breasted women who suffer this problem.

In case I haven't been quite clear, there is a lot of fanservice in this show. It is chock full of boobs, boobs, more boobs, undies, camel toes, boobs, and more undies. Even the non-Fighter characters love showing their stuff, like Hakufu's mom, who has no problems undoing her robe in front of her nephew. On the upside, it's really entertaining. Assuming you aren't offended by this kind of thing (and truthfully, if you are offended by this much fanservice, why were you not warned by the cover art?), you will probably enjoy it. It's ludicrous to the point of hilarity. To say that the fights are over the top would be a heinous understatement. One of the girls even has a move where she squeezes someone's head between her thighs so hard that they end up peeing.

Should you buy this? Well, it certainly has its perks. The characters are silly and melodramatic, and the story is ridiculous, but it sure is a lot of fun. If you go in expecting ass-kicking and plenty of ass to go with it, then you'll get exactly what you were hoping for. I secretly love shows like Ikki Tousen because they know their reason for existing, which is to titillate and not be too serious doing so. I think it's great fun.[TOP]

For something much more light-hearted, I checked out the Karin complete series boxset, a re-release of Geneon's teen romance comedy… with vampires. Unlike a lot of other vampire shows, though, Karin skews to the slapstick side, lettings its attempts at comedy to be the main driving force for the series. Also, the lead girl really isn't a vampire at all—she's an unvampire, someone who needs to inject people with her blood, rather than sucking it. If she doesn't, she gets massive nosebleeds—the kind that create ungainly puddles in the middle of school hallways.

From the feel of the show, it's your basic high school romance. Karin, the middle child in a family of normal vampires, has always had a rough time dealing with her bizarre unvampire nature. Things get hard when she meets Kenta, a guy whose blood kicks her into a frenzy. In order to keep her desires at bay, she needs to keep him happy, so at some point, she offers to cook him lunch every day. For some added fun, we're also introduced to a loud and melodramatic vampire hunter named Winner, whose main role is to provide even more comedic entertainment. Throw in some family drama, some extra nosebleeds, and you've got all the ingredients for a low-rated CW show.

While the story itself is somewhat… banal, since it's just one wacky hijink after another, it still gets by. What cripples the series the most is the shabby excuse for artistry. In particular, the backgrounds are extremely uninspired, with poorly drawn backdrops that must have taken a whole five minutes to do. Detail is a luxury, and instead, we're left with big blocky chunks of color that vaguely resemble buildings or bridges. The animation itself is inconsistent, although it's typically better than the crap they have in the background. Also, the characters are super ugly, which is kind of a shame, given the increasing amount of fanservice that builds up throughout the show.

Even when the series was being released in individual volumes, I found it hard to get into Karin. I had thought that maybe it was because of the slow release schedule, but that turned out not to be the case. Marathoning the show didn't increase my enjoyment of the series one bit. Instead, it just amplified my frustration at how much time was wasted at repetitive visual gags and recycled teen romance tropes. I personally have no desire to ever watch this show ever again, but I suppose if you've been running low on shows about teenagers doodling each other's names in their notebooks, then maybe you ought to pop this on your rental queue. Just don't expect great things.[TOP]

Hey look, kids! There's another season of Dragon Ball Z to watch! What suspense—I wonder what's going to happen in this one! Actually, my roommate has decided he's going to go through the entire Dragon Ball saga, including all of Z and GT, and I've been teasing him mercilessly for a few months for it. Try as I might, I just can't see how there's even a single ounce of suspense in this show, but considering how Z ran for a freakish almost 300 episodes, I am obviously in the minority.

Luckily, for those who are eagerly collecting Dragon Ball Z, you have finally reached the end of your harrowing journey. With the ninth season now available, you can finally see the shocking conclusion of the Majin Buu/Kid Buu saga. For those not familiar with all the names, those are the bad guys who have these fleshy phalluses on their foreheads. Even when they're beating the crap out of Goku and gang, it's still pretty hard to take them seriously. Good thing our ragtag team of heroes is so strong and determined, though. Not to give out too big of a spoiler, but one of their previous enemies even joins them. His name rhymes with Megeta. Can he help them pull off the elusive Fusion Techqniue? Can these two saiyan madmen defeat the greatest of all evils and save the world from a surefire destruction? You will have to watch the thrilling conclusion of Dragon Ball Z to find out, because my lips are sealed.

Despite the sarcasm, I have no animosity towards the Dragon Ball franchise. However, I will say that I vastly prefer the movies to the show, because they're so much shorter. And you basically get the same thing out of them, which to me is like choosing to watch the NBC Original of something instead of reading the book. But considering that Dragon Ball Z isn't really Homer's Odyssey, I don't really feel bad for taking the cheap route. Still, kudos for all the fans who are slavish in their devotion towards the show. You make the anime industry go 'round.[TOP]